stomach issues are flaring up like mad today, which sucks, because i feel quite good otherwise. i'm pretty excited about teaching my first lesson tomorrow, but i've clearly eaten something that didn't agree with me...i wish i knew what. hopefully i'll feel better soon. i showed my powerpoint presentation and lesson plan to my supervisor today, and i think it went well. i want to go home and give my stomach a chance to straighten out, but unfortunately, i have class from 2-4 and 4:30-6:30.

a good weekend, and a strangely good monday morning, but these classes are so far gone it's not even funny: two weeks with a sub is a genuinely bad idea. i'm not sure what to do to get them back on track, but i'm currently planning lessons for when i take over next week, so i'm sure i'll figure things out eventually. i'm hoping that they just need to be a little more engaged, but they're behind, so presenting all that material using creative techniques will be a stretch, time-wise.

i'm in the classroom. i'm getting way more used to it, and i don't feel like a completely incompetent teacher. i haven't taken over the class yet, and i'm relieved about that, because we're discussing the slave trade, and all the material that this chapter covers makes me absolutely sick. not such a great subject for someone who's already having stomach issues. i'm hoping i'll feel less sickly if i take over at the start of the next chapter. slavery in colonial north america isn't exactly puppies and rainbows, but it's a little more my speed than talking about diseases on slave ships. it's not that i think it's unimportant, but i have a really bad reaction to human suffering.

i'm trying hard to stay optimistic. even though i really haven't been feeling well lately, and my doctor still doesn't know exactly what's wrong, i'm trying to focus on planning my lessons so the transition from assisting in the classroom to teaching by myself will go as smoothly as possible. being this tired really isn't helping my physical state or my mental state, but i just need to hang in there. i'm caught up in my classes, i enjoy them, and if i can just get over my nervousness, i think i'll be able to complete student-teaching. it'll get easier in time, i hope.

i am SO tired. oh my gosh. but if i can just last one more day, that will mean i made it to school on time all five days this week, which is cause for celebration, despite the fact that i feel really ill.

another extended advisory period today. these make me want to die a little.

confirmed case of swine flu at radnor high school. trying not to freak out. hopefully roxborough students will be smart enough to stay home if they're sick. they're smart enough to stay home when they're well, so, maybe the traditional lack of attendance will carry over.

everyone should see the movie "whip it". if, like me, you have been madly in love with ellen page since "juno", or if you just possess basic human emotions, you will love it. amazing directorial debut, drew barrymore.

i have a lot of papers to write. hm. maybe next year my weekends will be fun again.

Regina Spektor is the greatest performer I've seen in awhile. Definitely see her in concert if you have the chance. She is also insanely cute.

I've almost made it through another week, and I'm going to lead an activity for the first time today, so I'm pleased. My stomach is acting up a little, but it usually feels better later in the day. I'm looking forward to a nice weekend at home, and hopefully my system will cooperate.

Good Things:

-I am, for this fleeting moment, caught up on schoolwork.

-I bought the cutest somewhat-professional-looking shoes yesterday, and they were ten bucks.

-I ate an evening meal that consisted of an amount of food that most normal humans would recognize as a legitimate dinner.

-I watched Gossip Girl, and got my Chuck-and-Blair fix.

-I successfully helped several students with history-related questions today.

I am getting help. I can get through this. I'll do it.

In the classroom, panicking again. This is really upsetting and frustrating, because I've been looking forward to completing this program since I was first accepted during my sophomore year of college, and now both my mind and my stomach are making that goal nearly impossible.

But I had a really good Monday last week. So maybe I just need a day to readjust, and tomorrow will be better. I hope.

I'm starting to go around the room and help students in small groups, and it's making me feel marginally more competent.